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That crazy guy on a wheel

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(no subject) [Sep. 20th, 2007|06:03 am]
That crazy guy on a wheel
So I'm sure many of you have heard by now about the student in Florida who spent too much time asking John Kerry a question, got too loud, and refused to leave or stop talking, and got forcibly escorted out by 6 policemen who, AFTER wrestling him to the ground, tasered him. It's all over the place, I won't bother linking you ... it's easy to find.

You want to talk terrifying, though? Like, bonechilling?

“Freedom is not a concept in which people can do anything they want, be anything they can be. Freedom is about authority. Freedom is about the willingness of every single human being to cede to lawful authority a great deal of discretion about what you do.” - Rudy Giuliani

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(no subject) [Sep. 11th, 2007|10:57 pm]
That crazy guy on a wheel
JOSEPH GRAFF turns into ...

Frag(s), hog(s), hag(s), hoe(s), Hoffa, grope(s), page(s), graph(s), phase, foe(s), frog(s), sofa, gopher(s), fare(s), prog, prof(s), prose, fresh, gash, posh, frosh, pose, rose, rope(s), hope(s), heap(s), reap(s), sear, fear(s), gear(s), pear(s), hear(s), rash, rasp, gasp, hasp, grasp, sap, rap(s), josh, rage(s), fog(s), rep(s), hop(s), fop(s), pore(s), sore, fore(s), forge(s), afro(s), far, par(s), per, sage, safe, soap, soar ...

Let me know if you come up with more.

So, in terms of real updating, I'm a senior now, I'm taking awesome classes about neurotheology and neuroscience of meditation and positive psychology and mythology in movies, I went to Burning Man and it might've been the most intense week of my life but I wouldn't make that statement because it was incomparable (literally), Pi Lam hosted Daft Punk's opening act on Saturday night and they called it the best party they'd ever done in the US, and things are generally awesome.

I have a computer as of today so AIM contact will soon be an option (Wizzard1708).

My phone is back on (215-360-4480). Feel free to call me.

Did I mention Burning Man? It was incredible.

Basically, shit's crazy in the good ways nowadays.
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(no subject) [Apr. 23rd, 2007|04:54 am]
That crazy guy on a wheel
Tell me one thing about me you envy, and one thing about me you don't envy--that is, something about me that you're really glad isn't something about you.

Answer/repost at will.
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(no subject) [Apr. 19th, 2007|12:26 am]
That crazy guy on a wheel
Horrified by the libido-hating perversity of the Judeo- Christian moral code, but not quite ready for the covert atheism of Buddhism? Hungry for a value system rooted in beauty, love, pleasure, and liberation instead of order, control, politeness, and fear, but allergic to the sophistry of the New Age? Repulsed by the saccharine goodness evangelized by the likes of Oprah and the TV show "Touched by an Angel," but equally offended by the dogmatic reverse morality preached by faux intellectuals who deify entropy and depravity?

It may be time, beauty and truth fans, for you to whip up your very own moral code.

If you do, you might want to keep the following guidelines in mind:

1) A moral system becomes immoral unless it can thrive without a devil or enemy.

2) A moral system grows ugly unless it prescribes rebellion against automaton-like behavior offered in its support.

3) A moral system becomes murderous unless it's built on a love for the sacredness of the truth that EVERYTHING CHANGES ALL THE TIME, and unless it perpetually adjusts its reasons for being true.

4) A moral system will corrupt its users unless it ensures that their primary motivation in being good is to have fun.
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(no subject) [Mar. 19th, 2007|03:21 am]
That crazy guy on a wheel
School is seriously kicking my ass right now. I'll be in the clear by Tuesday, hopefully, but shit goddamn.
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(no subject) [Mar. 15th, 2007|06:02 am]
That crazy guy on a wheel


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(no subject) [Mar. 15th, 2007|12:10 am]
That crazy guy on a wheel
Plenty of things going on, won't take a lot of time putting them here.

Tomorrow (today, as of 10 minutes ago) is Joe Graff Day.

Joe Graff is celebrating by taking a midterm, giving a presentation on lucid dreaming, and studying for another midterm.

Wish him luck on all three.
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(no subject) [Feb. 22nd, 2007|02:37 am]
That crazy guy on a wheel
"Man has been here for 32, 000 years. That it took a hundred million years to prepare the world for him is proof that that is what it was done for. I suppose it is, I dunno. If the Eiffel Tower were now representing the world’s age, the skin of paint on the pinnacle-knob at its summit would represent man’s share of that age; and anybody would perceive that that skin was what the tower was built for. I reckon they would, I dunno."
-Mark Twain

So I looked up pictures of Matisyahu and anyone who said I looked like him (quite a few!) is right.

Proof! OK, so it"s just the beard. Whatever.Collapse )
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(no subject) [Feb. 7th, 2007|04:34 pm]
That crazy guy on a wheel
Two nights ago, one of the longest and most important chapters of my life came to a definite close.

I'll miss it, but only so much. Mainly I just appreciate all that it's taught me.
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(no subject) [Feb. 2nd, 2007|04:42 am]
That crazy guy on a wheel
I want one.Collapse )
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(no subject) [Jan. 29th, 2007|08:52 pm]
That crazy guy on a wheel
Point of interest: life has evolved to the point where it can survive in BOILING SULFURIC ACID.

Look up Sulfolobus acidocaldarius.

How fucking cool is that?
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(no subject) [Jan. 26th, 2007|05:19 pm]
That crazy guy on a wheel

Eat it, cancer!

Too bad nobody can make money with this because there's no patent. This, unfortunately, means that nobody's going to market it. On the flip side, nobody will have to pay through the nose for it either. Someone rich just needs to bite a bullet and pay for it themselves.
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(no subject) [Jan. 25th, 2007|03:08 am]
That crazy guy on a wheel
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Fuck, I guess. [Jan. 22nd, 2007|01:46 am]
That crazy guy on a wheel
My celibacy vow lasted all of ... one month. But breaking my promise to myself was, I feel, worth it, because it only clarified my intentions to myself, gave me another set of experiential references to draw on when making judgments, and generally reinforced the foundation of the process by which I feel my improvement-oriented goals will be completed.

Which is all a lot of mumbo-jumbo saying that I made a mistake and I think I'm doing a pretty good job of learning from it. Celibacy vow reset, time at which it'll be over reset to "indefinite/eventually."

On the drugs front, I've decided that it doesn't really set me back very much to use strict stimulants like caffeine, provided I use them sparingly. I guess it's something of a concession or cop out, a half-assing of the whole thing if you will, but it'll only last until I'm at a point where my effective and independent management of my sleep/wakefulness scheduling takes priority over my grades. I'd love to say that this is true right now, but I can't make all my progress towards an improvement in my attitude towards and performance in school and then get a C on something really important because I refused to give myself a hand in the way of caffeine (or in extreme circumstances Adderall). I'm not going to lose sight of the ultimate goal of being completely mentally self-sufficient, nor am I going to stop my progress in the realm of doing this on the more emotionally- and intellectually-oriented fronts (meaning no help when it comes to feelings and thoughts, just help when absolutely necessary for efficient work).

As such, aside from a little help on said wakefulness front in the form of a night without sleep fuelled by two half-pill 5mg Adderall doses taken a few hours apart, I'm still progressing as smoothly as ever. With regards to the personal reasons why I'm giving up drugs, I didn't really go against any of them, so for the time being I'll stand by that decision as a reasonable one in the current context.

I think the most prominent effect of this whole no-sex-or-drugs thing so far has definitely been a clearer view of my mistakes and a greater ability to respond to them appropriately. I've noticed this just over the past few days and I think it's going to be key for the rest of ... well, my life (not the exact state I'm in now, of course, just the fact that progress is being noticeably made and in such a clearly efficient manner ... so, to restate, this getting-better-at-the-whole-mistakes-thing is really just showing me why the overall no-sex-or-drugs thing is what is going to be key).

Also, this is a picture of me taken in early December. I was asked to look "soulless." I think I did an OK job.Collapse )
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Too long of an entry for my adoring fans to read? That's what I get for never updating. [Jan. 15th, 2007|08:23 pm]
That crazy guy on a wheel
I haven't posted in quite a long time, so here's an update.

First off, I've taken a good long break from drugs of (almost) all shapes and sizes. With the exception of caffeine, which I'll have every now and then as a means towards a particular end (generally, being able to work more efficiently at critical points when the immediate probably-academic goal matters more than getting better at reaching it on my own, etc.), I'm forsaking all forms of mind alteration (drinking, smoking, tripping, etc.) for 6 months, effective about a month or so ago (in general terms I'm planning on perhaps breaking this particular fast in July or so, maybe June, depending on what sort of things go on in my life this summer). This is for a variety of reasons ... such asCollapse )
Giving up drugs has been MUCH easier than I expected. I just decide not to do it, and it really is that simple. One exception ... Saturday night, there was an extreme level of weed-smoking happening in my room for quite some time (which I'm encouraging, and which I'll probably continue to encourage, if not necessarily at the ludicrous level of two nights ago), and I'm pretty sure there was enough smoke in the room that I was probably high by the end of the night. I figure this doesn't really count (and so what if it does? It's not like Saturday night impeded me on my path to the goals stated above) and since I'll take steps to prevent my entire room from being hotboxed next time people smoke in it, I don't see it happening again.

Continuing with the asceticism thing ... no sex!Collapse )

With that update out of the way, other things:
1. Living in Pi Lam is awesome. Hosting parties is way more fun than I expected it to be (especially, in fact, with the whole I'm-always-sober thing), we're getting good bands on a pretty regular basis, and it's just overall a really enjoyable experience. Also, I'm getting really good at foosball.
2. I've got a killer (as in totally sweet) courseload this semester. My classes are on abnormal psychology, sex, drugs, philosophy of quantum theory, and mysticism, the latter being the coolest by far. I'll probably put stuff up here about these classes once I've had more than one week of them.
3. I need to go to upstate NY again, and soon.
4. Shaggy's been taking me paintballing on Sunday mornings recently. It's fucking cool as hell. I'm considering investing money in paintball equipment.
5. Last night I heard from Nick (DiJohn) about the coolest thing that's ever happened to anyone who likes exploring. It's called geocaching, and it's basically a gigantic worldwide GPS-fuelled scavenger hunt. Basically, everyone who participates buys a GPS receiver and starts looking for stuff that everyone else has hidden in random places all over the globe, and recorded GPS coordinates for. GPS isn't so accurate that it's easy (the hidden things are generally lunch-box-sized or smaller, and GPS is only accurate to about 50 feet or so ... imagine trying to find a credit card on 50 square feet of wilderness, or for that matter in a city), and it's just accurate enough to make it really fun both to get to where the coordinate is, and find the object once you get there. Go to www.geocaching.com and marvel at how cool this idea is. I think I might also have to invest in a GPS recorder.

Love everywhere. (I'm trying to get better at that, too. Emphasis on the "everywhere.")
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(no subject) [Dec. 20th, 2006|01:04 am]
That crazy guy on a wheel

This is easily the best internet toy I've seen in a really, really long time. Play with it for a while.
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(no subject) [Dec. 19th, 2006|01:03 am]
That crazy guy on a wheel
I'm reading "The Perennial Philosophy" by Aldous Huxley. I'm only a few pages in but I really like it. It's got sentences like the following:

"Only the transcendent, the completely other, can be immanent without being modified by the becoming of that in which it dwells."

and it's totally not even kidding, but it still manages to hold together at least a little bit, and some sense is made in between all the fun psycho-religio-babble. It's clear that there's something really big to be said in all this, and just wondering what it is is fun enough. Actually thinking you might be understanding it, ooooh. Don't tempt me.

I'll leave you with this snippet, quoted in the book to William Law:

"Though GOD is everywhere present, yet he is only present to thee in the deepest and most central part of thy soul. The natural senses cannot possess God or unite thee to Him; nay, thy inward faculties of understanding, will, and memory can only reach after God, but cannot be the place of his habitation in thee. But there is a root or depth of thee from whence all these faculties come forth, as lines from a centre, or as branches from the body of the tree. This depth is called the centre, the fund or the bottom of the soul. This depth is the unity, the eternity - I had almost said the infinity - of thy soul; for it is so infinite that nothing can satisfy it or give it rest but the infinity of God."
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(no subject) [Dec. 12th, 2006|07:12 pm]
That crazy guy on a wheel
Anyone who wants to know the human psyche will learn next to nothing from experimental psychology. He would be better advised to abandon exact science, put away his scholar's gown, bid farewell to his study, and wander with human heart throughout the world. There in the horrors of prisons, lunatic asylums and hospitals, in drab suburban pubs, in brothels and gambling-hells, in the salons of the elegant, the Stock Exchanges, socialist meetings, churches, revivalist gatherings and ecstatic sects, through love and hate, through the experience of passion in every form in his own body, he would reap richer stores of knowledge than text-books a foot thick could give him, and he will know how to doctor the sick with a real knowledge of the human soul.
-- Carl Jung
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(no subject) [Nov. 13th, 2006|09:10 pm]
That crazy guy on a wheel

READ. Read and enjoy!
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(no subject) [Nov. 10th, 2006|04:14 pm]
That crazy guy on a wheel
This, on the other hand, is pretty much the coolest thing the world has ever seen. Imagine what a 19-mile wide floating rock would look like. If you owned a piece of rock that was 19 miles wide and could float, what sort of ridiculous things could you do with it? I think that should be the premise of Miyazaki's next movie, in fact ... a city-sized floating rock island.

Oh, and the actual new island? The honest-to-goodness risen-from-the-bottom-of-the-sea island? Sweet.
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(no subject) [Nov. 9th, 2006|11:17 pm]
That crazy guy on a wheel
Yet another sign of the decline of man ...

Stuff like this really, really baffles me.

Ooops. I mean "lol NZ rox!"
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(no subject) [Oct. 30th, 2006|02:07 am]
That crazy guy on a wheel
So smoking pot stops lung cancer now? Cool.
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(no subject) [Oct. 22nd, 2006|08:46 pm]
That crazy guy on a wheel
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(no subject) [Oct. 9th, 2006|11:29 pm]
That crazy guy on a wheel
Comment with your username and I'll give you an honest compliment. Then post this in your journal and spread the love.

Also, because I don't feel like devoting a second entry to it, this poem was written in the late 16th Century, and you won't believe it if you read it. And read it you should.
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(no subject) [Oct. 4th, 2006|06:14 pm]
That crazy guy on a wheel
I just jumped off the top of The Button on my unicycle and my sandal exploded.
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(no subject) [Aug. 21st, 2006|04:12 pm]
That crazy guy on a wheel
I liked this a lot. (Ganked from Questionable Content discussion forums.)

A decrepit old gas man named Peter
While searching one day for the meter
Touched a leak with his light
He rose up out of sight,
And, as anybody who knows anything about poetry can tell you, he also ruined the meter.
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(no subject) [Aug. 15th, 2006|04:54 pm]
That crazy guy on a wheel
Alan WattsCollapse )

Robert Anton WilsonCollapse )

Alan Watts, Robert Anton Wilson, Terrence McKenna, and Tom Robbins are increasingly influencing my life and thinking. I really like it.
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Illuminatus! [Aug. 6th, 2006|01:03 pm]
That crazy guy on a wheel
"Caligula Bushman, known as the toughtest judge on the Chicago bench, was trying six people who were charged with attacking a draft board, ruining its files and dumping a wheelbarrow full of cow manure on the floor. Suddenly Bushman interrupted the trial about halfway through the prosecution's presentation of its case with the announcement that he was going to hold a sanity hearing. To the bewilderment of all, he then asked State's Attorney Milo A. Flanagan a series of rather odd questions ...Collapse )

I really like this book.
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(no subject) [Jul. 28th, 2006|03:00 pm]
That crazy guy on a wheel
"... Sissy's smile broadened. 'The Chink said that some people run after sages the way others run after gold. He said we've produced a generation of spiritual panhandlers, begging for coins of wisdom, banging like bums on every closed door. He said that if an old man moves into a shack or a cave and lets his beard grow, people will flock from miles around just to read his NO TRESSPASSING signs.
'Is that why you're so interested in the Chink, Doctor? Do you think he knoes something that the rest of the world doesn't? Something that can contribute to our salvation?'
... Dr. Robbins retorted 'No, no, a thousand times no! In the first place, I distrust completely any man who holds himself up as an answer to those who can't find the inner resources to overcome their own sense of time-entrapment and loneliness. In the second place, I'm not the least concerned with salvation because I'm not convinced there's anything to be saved from. My position is this: I'm a psychiatrist who's been betrayed by the brain. That's akin to an astronomer betrayed by starlight. Or a cook betrayed by garlic. Nevertheless, I have developed an outlook on life that amounts to both a form of wisdom and a means of survival. It isn't perfected yet, but it gets me by - and to those very rare patients who possess the guts and imagination to pick up on it, it might set a helpful example. Any psychiatrist or psychologist whose own life isn't happy and whole enough to be exemplary isn't worth the hide it takes to upholster his couch. He should be horsewhipped and sued for malpractice. But, to return to the point, as soon as you began to speak of the Chink, I sensed a rapport, an overview similar - perhaps - to my own. Maybe he has notions about the ebb and flow of the cosmic custard that are improvements upon my own. Maybe not. If not, c'est la friggin' vie. If so, it might be beneficial to both of us, you and me, to rap about them. It sure as hell beats talking about 'inverted conpensation.'"
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(no subject) [Jun. 27th, 2006|12:36 pm]
That crazy guy on a wheel
From dreaming_elise

Explain the name you've chosen for your LJ. When finished, tag the same number of people as there are letters in your name, so that they will have to explain themselves as well.

Um. Unicycle = onewheel. Rincewind, from Terry Pratchett's Discworld books, = wizzard (the extra z is important). Add silly catchiness and you have a recipe for a pretty good internet name. I use it pretty much everywhere.

I tag addienfaemne, pasqual, arsonisnoway, and anyone else who wants to do it (those are just the ones I'm curious about). Feel free to comment if you don't want to make your journal look silly with a meme. Or, y'know, not bother.
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(no subject) [Jun. 26th, 2006|05:41 pm]
That crazy guy on a wheel
I am CONSTANTLY transcribing "president's" as "presiden't" before I stop myself and correct it. I even did it as I wrote that sentence.

Life's good. I'm working two worthwhile and well-paying jobs, I just got paid, I don't have any nagging health issues (no throat-cloggy shit, very little foot-itchy nonsense), I've been exposed to people I love quite a bit (and I'm about to have a whole lot more), I'm getting a ride to NY for Wayfinder from my mom so I don't need to pay for a round-trip bus, the house is clean, I'm feeling good about my responsibilities (more or less), and I just feel like I'm in a pretty good spot in general.

I do have one issue: I have to prepare fully for Staff Week at Wayfinder in the next 24 hours. This includes shelling out for a tent and shit like that, apparently. Those things cost a bundle. Dammit.

I sorta wish I were having more sex, but that's OK. Nothing new there. Besides, in its absence I've been taking the menage a moi to even greater heights. Out-of-body experiences are occurring more frequently. They're awesome.

I feel like I'm on the edge of discovering a really sweet music scene, namely psych-folk ... I've gotten into a bit of the Incredible String Band, I really like Feathers, Bardo Pond is more appealing than it was, and I'm working on mustering the initiative to get into it fully by looking up band names and finding music. It's really tempting to just stick with Dead Meadow but I'm afraid of getting too familiar with it and losing the sense of otherworldliness that they're so good at. Also, my mp3 player is getting worse and worse because the output jack is getting iffier and iffier ... it's getting to the point where I need to constantly hold it in one spot in order to keep the signal going through both ears. I hope I can fix that.

My concerns are either overlookable or overseeable. I like things.
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(no subject) [Jun. 11th, 2006|11:12 am]
That crazy guy on a wheel
Meme time again. I like the weird ones.Collapse )
HA! See if you can figure THAT one out, suckas.

Life's really, really, really good. I like things a lot.
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(no subject) [May. 28th, 2006|03:59 am]
That crazy guy on a wheel
[Currently corrupting my thoughts: |Jack Rose - Tower of Babel]

I'm really happy!

Things have been good for me on a pretty nonstop basis since I got back from school. On an outward level, I've done a few things I really like (like getting a psych research job instead of just sticking with my LDC deal ... I'm currently waiting on both to start me part-time), and I've enjoyed my life on a day-to-day basis in terms of activity, but on an inward level the change has been HUGE. The more I recover from the shitty life I was leading this past semester the more I realize how much it was actually bringing me down. I just understand much more about myself now than I did 2 months ago (and the nice thing is that I've been able to say exactly that on a fairly regular basis for more than a year now, but now is particularly helpful).

It's already 4 AM, so I don't really want to go into details, but I DO want to post a conversation I had with Kitty tonight, so here it is. It's very very long, and I think I might've reached a little too far on a few points, but by the end of it I was feeling a bit better about my stance.

Quite long indeed.Collapse )
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(no subject) [May. 16th, 2006|02:35 am]
That crazy guy on a wheel
I like things.
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(no subject) [May. 5th, 2006|11:48 am]
That crazy guy on a wheel
1) NAME: Joe Graff

Love - The Good Humor Man He Sees Everything Like This
Buffalo - Average Rock'n'Roller
Cream - I Feel Free
Desert Sessions - Eccentric Man
Black Mountain - Druganaut

Eagles of Death Metal - I Like to Move In the Night
earthlings? - The Icy Halls of Sobriety (I Dare Not Tread)
Masters of Reality - I Walk Beside Your Love
Super Furry Animals - Play It Cool
The White Stripes - We're Going To Be Friends

Acid Mothers Temple and the Melting Parasio UFO - You're Still Now Near Me Everytime
The Bevis Frond - Let Them Beautify You
The Beatles - When I'm Sixty-Four
earthlings? - Saving Up For My Spaceship/Illuminate
Masters of Reality - Lookin' to Get Right

Queens of the Stone Age - Better Living Through Chemistry
The Beatles - All You Need Is Love
Flaming Lips - Okay I'll Admit That I Really Don't Understand
Roky Erickson - True Love Cast Out All Evil
Louis Armstrong - What A Wonderful World
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(no subject) [May. 3rd, 2006|04:28 am]
That crazy guy on a wheel
If there's a power that directs silly coincidences, it likes me tonight, because I went to Wawa to get some food and stimulants, and for exactly the amount of time I spent waiting for my bagels, "Sunshine Superman" by Donovan was playing. I was cheered up a great deal.
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(no subject) [May. 1st, 2006|09:51 pm]
That crazy guy on a wheel
Um, my brother is awesome.


This represents about (literally) .1% of his actual artistic output. If he takes the initiative to scan everything he does, you can expect this to explode.

The two most recent entries are the ones that are indicative of his current ability. They were done, like, yesterday. Or maybe even today, I'm not sure.

Oh, and keep in mind that he's only a freshman in high school right now, and that his art only really represents about 30% of his creative output. He's writing Wayfinder games, comic books, plays (well, a play), you name it. And since I now have a bass guitar which will be hanging out at the house all summer, he might start with that as well (he's expressed interest, at least). How ridiculous is this kid anyway?
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(no subject) [May. 1st, 2006|02:09 am]
That crazy guy on a wheel
This one looks nice. I know I had fun filling it out when I did it for Susan.

Dear Joe,
You have a cute______.
You make me _______.
You should _______.
Someday I will ______.
You + me =________.
If I saw you right now I'd __________.
I would build a _______ just for you.
I would get your name tattooed on my __________.
If I could sing you any song it would be _________.
We could __________ under the stars.
Will you ______________ me?
My love for you is like that of ____________.
(P.S. ______________:)

Fill it out!
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(no subject) [Apr. 30th, 2006|11:42 pm]
That crazy guy on a wheel
So I got tagged by a meme, and I'm responding.

6 weird things/habits that pertain to me ...Collapse )

Philly Spring Game was AWESOME. The reason I started going to Wayfinder at all was because it was the coolest flippin' thing ever, man, swords and costumes and stuff, for real! Then I realized that there was something seriously incredible about the community and that I'd struck a gold vein wider than the Pacific Ocean. At Philly Spring Game, I saw the EXACT same initial response in every camper there. Given the fact that the first Philly New Moon is happening in a month, I give it until the end of this summer before the Philly community has built itself into a perfect microcosm of the incredible closeness that makes the original Wayfinder community the greatest thing that ever happened to me. And I can already tell that, for the campers, I'll be only a peripheral part of it. Even if I get as involved with Philly WFE as I can be, I'm going to be about as important to the Philly community as, say, Claire Fallon* is/has been to my NY Wayfinder experience. I'll show up and do my absolute best to make evryone happy and facilitate community building and play and fun, and it'll be great, but ... well, I never really connected to Claire Fallon*. She's incredible and I smile every time I think of her, but I don't *know* her the way I know people like Gemma and the Santners and Clinton and [long list of names]. I just know that she's great. I can already tell that I'm going to be a similar figure for the Philly Wayfinder kids at most. I'm just too old to connect with all of them. That's OK, though. It's time for me to be OK being the older responsible one instead of the oldhead who still wants to be one of the kids. I can't keep reaching farther and farther back to make friends. I need to pay attention to my peers, and bring myself up to speed with them and sort my life out to the point where I can be a functioning part of the communities in which I belong.

This is what I'm going to try to do with myself this summer. No more of this "I can be everyone's best friend" stuff. My personal universe has gotten too varied for that. In fact, it did that a long, long time ago, and while I did notice and change my behavior to adapt, I don't think I've fully gotten myself into the niches where I feel like I'd be best off. There are a few where I'm not even close. This summer, in between working and volunteering at WFE, I'm hoping to mature into the person I'd be best off being in this period of my life (because I am certainly not the person I want to be right now). It won't fully happen until I show up at school next year and not suck. When I'm working a job, involving and engaging myself in school, and keeping in touch with the people I care about instead of trying to go everywhere and do everything and be everyone's favorite cool guy, that's when I'll be able to set some real goals.

This is why I told people to ask me about these things. I don't think I can do this without help. Please, talk to me about my life and ask me serious, specific questions about what I'm doing with it. Every time I get asked, I want to have a better answer to give, and I feel that this drive to be able to tell people good things about my life should turn into a more powerful and more self-empowering drive to tell myself truths about my life that I want to hear. And once I have that, I'll be golden.

*This name could be replaced by a LOT of names, I'm just using her as an example.
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(no subject) [Apr. 28th, 2006|01:39 am]
That crazy guy on a wheel
Wish me luck on my finals, guys, 'cause I'm gonna fuckin' need it.

Aside from that, things are OK and steadily improving. I'm feeling full of love to give (fortunately Philly Spring Game is tomorrow, so I'll have an actual physical outlet) and I've never felt more capable at school (that might be the Adderall this time, but I really feel like I could get used to this focus-on-schoolwork thing, so I've got high hopes for next year). A week late and a whole casino worth of dollars short for this semester, unfortunately, but like I said, steady improvement is the phrase of the day.

I've got big plans for some long-overdue self-improvement. Ask me about it, because telling you will just reinforce my drive to get good at what I want to get good at.
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(no subject) [Apr. 14th, 2006|05:32 pm]
That crazy guy on a wheel

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(no subject) [Mar. 31st, 2006|08:51 pm]
That crazy guy on a wheel
Funniest music video ever? Could be. WARNING DONGZ LOL

Life's awesome! My academic life is ... uncertain at the moment (probably in poor shape, but I'm managing), but just about everything else is pretty grand.

I've gotten to visit my Wayfinder people for both gaming and hangoutage in the past month or so, and enjoyed myself thoroughly in both situations. I've made wonderful new friends (though I've sometimes been rather poor at keeping in touch with some in my iife. I'm working on that.) I've had excellent adventures of all types, and a couple less enjoyable (but still important) experiences as well. I'm in good condition in just about every way except academically ... but then, since when was that not true? Besides, I'll figure all that school stuff out eventually.

I often go through periods of wanting to tell everyone in the world everything about my life and realizing that I sorta can't even come close to doing that. It doesn't stop me from trying, though.
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(no subject) [Mar. 26th, 2006|09:09 am]
That crazy guy on a wheel

Man, it feels good to press that button.

Edit: Actually I lied. It is immensely disturbing and unpleasant to press that button. But sometimes it is necessary. And I feel a lot better now.
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(no subject) [Mar. 25th, 2006|10:15 pm]
That crazy guy on a wheel
<td align="center"> Graff --

A real life muppet

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

I'm so happy I took the 5 seconds necessary to do that meme.
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(no subject) [Mar. 24th, 2006|05:28 pm]
That crazy guy on a wheel

God, I suck at updating nowadays.  I'll put one up sometime.
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(no subject) [Mar. 5th, 2006|12:51 am]
That crazy guy on a wheel
This was recently brought to my attention.

If you remember this post, this might be familiar.

As with before, I suppose, post your stories here.

My life's good. On Thursday I had a wonderful conversation with two friends at Pi Lam (one of whom I met that night) in which we decided to try Original Play the next day. And we did. It was a very enjoyable and much-needed infusion of Wayfinder-y physical contact into my life ... I've had one or two days out of the past 3 months during which I could be physical with someone (sexually or otherwise), and I'd almost forgotten how amazing recreational human contact is, especially the nonsexual kind.

One other thing we did yesterday was that we watched some really weird movies. My friend had a DVD of weird shorts, including a modern-day Western, a tripped-out cartoon, the photo-montage film that inspired "12 Monkeys," an utterly bizarre silent short, and a few others that ranged from creepy to silly. She also had "Dead Of Night," which is an old B/W psych-thriller. It was interesting.

Things have been really good the past few days. I hope things keep up ... though seeing as how I'm leaving for Woodstock tomorrow, I certainly expect them to.
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(no subject) [Mar. 2nd, 2006|06:30 pm]
That crazy guy on a wheel
Update time!

So Saturday was a pleasant day at the zoo. It was REALLY nice out, and the animals were great. Except for the orangutang, who was depressed. The otters and the flamingos were ridiculous. And I got to hang out on the roof of the 420 house afterwards and listen to Greg and Justin and EJ sing and play Neutral Milk Hotel. Saturday was a day well spent (and so was the money I spent to make it happen).

I also crossed into true polyamory over the weekend. It seems like such a good idea. I really hope it works out.

Yesterday was pretty awesome. I woke up at 9 without needing the help of an alarm, and I had an hour to chill out awake before class. I'd forgotten how great it feels to be up in the morning and have nothing to do. In the afternoon I got a call from my mother reminding me that it was my dad's birthday. So I headed over to the bookstore, got a couple presents, and proceeded home for a wonderful evening of potroast stew, chocolate cake, and checking out my brother's newest artistic marvels (Goddamn that kid's getting good.) Then I went to the concert at Irvine, Soulive and the Beneento/Russo Duo.

I don't know what to think of the concert. When I got in, halfway through the Duo's set, I didn't think very much of their music. It seemed like just a drummer playing while a guy noodled around with sounds on a synthesizer. My initial thought was that the drummer needed a new band and the other guy needed a day job, but now I'm not so sure. The keyboardist didn't convince me of any musical virtuosity but I'll keep checking him out, because I feel like there was something I missed. He was, after all, playing bass with his feet, rhythm with one hand, and lead with another, on two keyboards and the foot thingy.

Soulive, on the other hand, were nuts and a half. It was just a drummer/vocalist, a guitarist, and a keyboardist. They payed like Deadhead jazz/soul musicians. The music seemed jazzy and the vocals were soul...ful(?) but it seemed like there was a good porion of psychedelia in there too. Maybe I'm just seeing what I want to in a trio of crazy musicians (because they were), though. The solos were scarily good, and that weird voice instrument the guitarist used was awesome. They pretty much blew me away.

The only dark spot on the last few days was that I went to see Bonnie last night after Soulive and she was on the phone with Nate ... turns out his lung partially collapsed on Saturday and he was in the hospital until yesterday evening. He'll be fine with time, but that's still some scary shit.

I'm pretty great. I hope everyone's in good shape.
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(no subject) [Feb. 19th, 2006|08:20 pm]
That crazy guy on a wheel
I got tagged with one of those "6 songs you're currently enjoying" memes, so I decided to just link you to the website that's keeping track of that for me.

Edit: Speaking of music that I like, I want to go to a festival. This one in particular. In the past, it's hosted Neutral Milk Hotel, Pelt, The Bevis Frond, and Acid Mothers Temple, all bands I'd pay good money to see live. This year, Bardo Pond and Jack Rose are the only familiar names on the bill (though that'd be enough to convince me), but the overall feel I get from this festival is that it's one I'd really, really enjoy. I expect the 110$ price tag would be worth it, for the three days. I'd need people to do it with, though. We'll see.
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(no subject) [Feb. 13th, 2006|03:30 pm]
That crazy guy on a wheel
I thought this would appeal to most of you.

Now I need to go to work.

Edit: I'm now at work and I don't have anything I currently need to do. I checked my Johari/Nohari thingy results, and apparently 5 people filled out the good things about me and nobody has said anything bad about me. Knowing about the exact nature of the positive impression I give people is nice (for some reason, self-confidence is something that everyone seems to see in me ... the more I think about it the more I realize that I am pretty confident all things considered, or at least I act like it, but I've never considered self-confidence to be one of my defining traits) ... but how am I going to get anything worthwhile out of it unless I'm told about how I could improve? The Nohari window seems more important to me. Oh well.

Also ... Kitty and Marissa, how do you spell Peevo (other people, you might know it as "Mao")? Because now there's an internet version ... http://kevan.org/games/maobot.html
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(no subject) [Feb. 13th, 2006|02:37 am]
That crazy guy on a wheel
This should be interesting.

This should too.

Real update later.
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